If you really want to increase your chances of getting your ex back, then you must do whatever you can to keep your feelings from getting out of hand. It may surprise you to learn that much of what people go through after a break up mimics the emotions people experience after someone close to them dies. It’s okay to grieve, but you also have to be careful that you don’t these feelings spin out of control. People, your ex included, will go to great lengths to avoid those they perceive as emotionally unstable. So, it’s logical that being emotionally balanced will get you on the road to making up and getting back together.
For the record, the five stages of grief are normally defined as: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Let’s see how to handle each of those as they relate to breaking up.
Denial: You may be in shock and disbelief right after the break up, leading to denial. If you find yourself saying things like, “Oh, he didn’t really mean it” or “She’s just a bit moody, she’ll call me as soon as she calms down again”, then you are most likely at this stage. The only way to get past it (and finally get back together) is to admit you are, indeed, split up.
Anger: You may be mad at them, yourself, or any number of external factors. Being upset is normal, and some level of anger is to be expected. However, be careful that your anger doesn’t cross the line into destructive behavior. Also, understand that nobody may be to blame, break ups just happen sometimes.
Bargaining: This is nothing more than making real or imaginary deals to get your ex back. If your sentences start with, “I promise I will…”, then that’s a good sign you’re moving along through the normal grieving process. Understand, though, that bargaining isn’t what brings your ex back. What does is having a good plan for reconciling and taking on it.
Depression: The more in love you two were, the sadder you’ll be when you break up. Sadness is one thing, depression is another. Everybody cries after a tough split, but when it affects your ability to function normally then it’s time to get professional help.
Acceptance: Whew! Talk about some difficult emotions! But now you’re through it and are willing to accept the truth of the matter. The good news is that once you’re at this stage you’re in the best to get your ex back. There is one catch though. You may tell yourself you are already at this stage, when in reality you’re still working through one of the other stages. Maybe not. Just be honest with yourself. But assuming you are at this step…Congratulations…you made it! Now it’s up to you to take the next step and do what it takes to get your ex back.