If you find out that your partner has cheated on you the first reaction you might have is to leave him. But the initial reaction is often thought in the heat of the moment and might not necessarily be the right thing to do. You should consider these factors before making your final decision:
* Has your partner ever cheated on your before or is the first time?
* Was he having a long term affair or was it a one night stand?
* How long have you and your partner been together?
* Do you and your partner have children together?
These are all questions you need to ask before making a decision. Let’s take a closer look at each one of these factors.
1. Has your partner ever cheated on your before or is this the first time?
If this is the first time that your partner has cheated then it’s possible that it was just one big mistake and he may never do it again. It might be a little hasty to end the relationship if it is the first time. You need to talk to him and try to find out why he cheated. Was it an occasion of having too much alcohol and it just happened? Or was it something that was planned with someone he had known for a while?
If it was a case of too much alcohol and a lapse in judgement while in his impaired state, then I’m sure he still loves you very much and regrets this happening. If on the other hand it was planned and something he has wanted for a while, then you might both need to take a long, hard look at your relationship to see where it has gone wrong.
You need to work out if this is a cry for help, is it a cry for you to notice him and pay more attention to him. Men can sometimes feel neglected in a relationship, especially if you have children that take up a great deal of your time, and they might feel that you don’t spend enough time with them and are insecure in the relationship.
2. Was he having a long term affair or was it a one night stand?
As with number one, if it was a one night stand then it might be something that your partner now regrets. However, if he has been having a long term affair then it is a whole different story. A long term affair can be very damaging to a relationship and the hurt inflicted on the non cheating spouse is sometimes too much to forgive.
If he has had a one night stand then it is usually ‘just sex’ and nothing more but when it is a long term affair then it is more than just sex, it is sharing your life with that person. A long term affair is much more personal and much harder for a relationship to recover from. A one night stand is just sex but a long term affair is lies and deceit.
3. How long have you and your partner been together?
If your relationship is new and your partner has cheated already then this is not a good sign for the future so it might be a relationship that you should quit while you’re ahead. If you and your partner have been together for years and this is the first time he has cheated, then perhaps your relationship is going through a rocky period and needs some work to get through it and be happy again.
4. Do you and your partner have children together?
When you have children together then you need to think extra long and hard about your decision. Kids will survive a breakup and they can be happy in a single parent household, but they can be a lot happier in a happy two parent household. However, if the two parent home is not a happy one and there is a lot of anger, resentment and fighting between the parents, then the children might be better off in the single parent homes.
It is a much more difficult decision when there are children involved and if you can, it is best to try and work through this difficult time in your relationship and work out your differences so that you can give your children a happy home.
Hopefully this is the last time that you will have to deal with someone cheating in your relationship.