It would be so nice if there was a ‘breakup pill’. You could just take two before bed and the next day all you would be left with is pleasant memories but no pain. Unfortunately there isn’t such a thing and we all have to learn how to get over someone the old fashioned way: give it time. The good news is that while you are ‘giving it time’ you can also be doing other things. These things may or may not help to speed the healing process up but at the very least they will help you find other things to occupy your thoughts instead of just thinking of the pain of your breakup.
Some of these things may sound odd or flat out wrong, but in most cases they’ve been proven to help people move on as quickly as possible. Hey, you’re in a lot of pain, what have you got to lose? Give them a shot…
1. In order to move on you have to get your ex out of your life. That means that you can’t communicate with them at all anymore. Don’t call them, don’t text them, don’t drop by their house. You have to send them a clear signal that it’s over. This is for your own well being, if you continue to hang on to a dead relationship you will only prolong your pain. Better to cut all ties so that you can heal more quickly.
This applies if they try to call you too. If they were the one to break up with you it can be almost impossible to not pick up the phone when you see they are calling you, but if you do you’ll just be prolonging your own pain. It’s unlikely that they are calling you to get back with you. It’s far more likely that they are a little lonely and they figure you’re a sure thing so they’ll just call you up and use you to relieve their own fears and uncertainties. Just don’t answer the phone.
2. Now that you’ve broken off communication with them, it’s time to put away, or throw away, all of the things you have around your house that reminds you off your ex. Again, you won’t be able to move on if you’re constantly being reminded of them and the good times you’ve shared. Some day you may be able to look back on this relationship and remember the good times, but for right now you want to forget as much as you can so you can move on.
3. This one is harsh, but you have to understand that there are going to be lonely times. If you can gear yourself up for it you may have a little easier time getting through the lonely times when they come along. Do not hook up with someone else to help you feel better. This is a crappy thing to do. Many people seem to have the idea that because they were hurt it’s ok to go out and hurt someone else.
That is complete B.S. You have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror everyday and if you act like that it won’t be easy. Just remember that the person who hurt you is gone and that the next person that comes along had nothing to do with it. Be a kind, decent human being and if nothing else you can always know that you acted decently which is how to get over someone.\